Pokémon collectible condoms
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Thursday, March 13, 2008
On "brb"
I saw an AIM away message of one of my friends a while ago that said: "brb, shower". And it gave me a crazy thought. How long are you allowed to be away when you say "brb"? How much time needs to elapse before you should have said "ttyl" or something similar? Maybe it depends on the situation, or the people talking, or even how they're talking.
For me, "brb" usually means I'm going to get a snack, or take out the trash, or go do Number 1. Something simple and trivial. But if you tell someone, "I'll be right back, I'm just gonna go take a shower," don't you think you should be spending a little more time lathering up?
I'm sure it's wrong to set a concrete "brb" time allotment; I think a number of factors are involved. I think the situation, or the subject matter of the conversation, plays a big role in determining how much time you have to get back. For instance, if two girls are ferociously typing away about what that one boy said to that girl about that other boy who has a crush on girl number one, you better be right the fuck back. Would you take a shower in the middle of this conversation? Of course not. However, if two friends are just having a normal, everyday conversation with no real substance or purpose, saying "brb" and then being away longer than expected isn't such a terrible crime. That kind of casual conversation doesn't really need to be resumed or finished, and if the one friend gets tired of waiting and leaves to do something else, not much is lost.
I think there is often a desire to keep a sense of continuity between two parts of a conversation, which is why someone would want to say "brb", even when saying "be right back" seems not to be the case. A better abbrv, then, would be "bbl". It seems that saying "be back later" gives a better sense of returning to complete a conversation than does "[just] talk to you later" (emphases added).
I think there's even a difference between online conversations and txting. Txting etiquette, however, is an entirely different beast, and I don't have a txting plan that allows me to investigate this without taking out another mortgage on the house.
What if my friend had actually meant that he was going to a baby shower!? Then he really would have been wrong to say "brb"!
I don't really have any definitive judgment one way or the other; I'd really love to hear your crazy thoughts on this.
For me, "brb" usually means I'm going to get a snack, or take out the trash, or go do Number 1. Something simple and trivial. But if you tell someone, "I'll be right back, I'm just gonna go take a shower," don't you think you should be spending a little more time lathering up?
I'm sure it's wrong to set a concrete "brb" time allotment; I think a number of factors are involved. I think the situation, or the subject matter of the conversation, plays a big role in determining how much time you have to get back. For instance, if two girls are ferociously typing away about what that one boy said to that girl about that other boy who has a crush on girl number one, you better be right the fuck back. Would you take a shower in the middle of this conversation? Of course not. However, if two friends are just having a normal, everyday conversation with no real substance or purpose, saying "brb" and then being away longer than expected isn't such a terrible crime. That kind of casual conversation doesn't really need to be resumed or finished, and if the one friend gets tired of waiting and leaves to do something else, not much is lost.
I think there is often a desire to keep a sense of continuity between two parts of a conversation, which is why someone would want to say "brb", even when saying "be right back" seems not to be the case. A better abbrv, then, would be "bbl". It seems that saying "be back later" gives a better sense of returning to complete a conversation than does "[just] talk to you later" (emphases added).
I think there's even a difference between online conversations and txting. Txting etiquette, however, is an entirely different beast, and I don't have a txting plan that allows me to investigate this without taking out another mortgage on the house.
What if my friend had actually meant that he was going to a baby shower!? Then he really would have been wrong to say "brb"!
I don't really have any definitive judgment one way or the other; I'd really love to hear your crazy thoughts on this.
Friday, March 7, 2008
On Half-Birthdays
Today is my half-birthday. What exactly does that mean? How is today different from other days? Is today different from other days? Should I celebrate? I explore these questions below.
Let's start with regular birthdays. Each year, as the Earth returns to approximately the same spot it was when a person was born, we celebrate their success in sustaining - at least basic - biological functions over the past year. We acknowledge the fact that they didn't do anything too terribly stupid to themselves, and are still hopefully capable of contributing to society. This convenient and universal way of marking time gives us an opportunity as social animals to celebrate every individual in the community at some point. This natural time step is also a convenient opportunity for the birthday person to look back on the past year, or set goals for the next year and re-evaluate his or her life, if said person cares about that sort of thing.
Exactly six months later, the Earth is as far away as it will ever be from its location at the person's birth. Purely cosmologically, therefore, celebrating this day is like celebrating your favorite sports team breaking the record for longest losing streak. All records bring notoriety, but only positive records bring lasting respect and reverence. Thus, the Earth's position on one's half-birthday is nothing more than an amusing, even cynical factoid, and certainly nothing to celebrate.
But is a half-birthday different from other days of the year? I would say yes, though, if anything, a half-birthday celebration should be a private, contemplative one. "I am halfway through this year of my life. Am I on a course to accomplish what I set out to do six months ago?" We break up years into months and weeks because it keeps us organized, allows for consistent scheduling, and makes counting days easier by reducing the magnitude of the numbers involved. Therefore, it is perfectly natural, even commendable, to use one (or more) of these conveniently organized days to stop and think about "the big picture". And what better day than the halfway point? It is easily remembered and recognized, and allows ample time for changes to be made to the status quo. In this sense, the half-birthday celebration is the polar opposite of the birthday celebration: on our birthdays, we relax and reflect back on the year that was, while looking optimistically forward to the year ahead, while on our half-birthdays, we take a harsh look in the mirror and ask critically of ourselves whether we are living up to our own standards and expectations.
We reach the same conclusions whether we investigate the half-birthday cosmologically or morally, that: (1) birthdays and half-birthdays are complete opposites; (2) a half-birthday celebration should in no way resemble a birthday celebration; and (3) a half-birthday is a time for personal, not social, celebration and reflection.
And seriously, are you gonna give someone half a present? Isn't that still a full present? It's like trying to break a crumb in half. It just doesn't work.
For me, today is a day of introspection, the results of which will only be known on the true day worthy of a celebration, six months from now. For you, today is the day your birthday presents turn from pathetically late to thoughtfully early, and nothing more.
Let's start with regular birthdays. Each year, as the Earth returns to approximately the same spot it was when a person was born, we celebrate their success in sustaining - at least basic - biological functions over the past year. We acknowledge the fact that they didn't do anything too terribly stupid to themselves, and are still hopefully capable of contributing to society. This convenient and universal way of marking time gives us an opportunity as social animals to celebrate every individual in the community at some point. This natural time step is also a convenient opportunity for the birthday person to look back on the past year, or set goals for the next year and re-evaluate his or her life, if said person cares about that sort of thing.
Exactly six months later, the Earth is as far away as it will ever be from its location at the person's birth. Purely cosmologically, therefore, celebrating this day is like celebrating your favorite sports team breaking the record for longest losing streak. All records bring notoriety, but only positive records bring lasting respect and reverence. Thus, the Earth's position on one's half-birthday is nothing more than an amusing, even cynical factoid, and certainly nothing to celebrate.
But is a half-birthday different from other days of the year? I would say yes, though, if anything, a half-birthday celebration should be a private, contemplative one. "I am halfway through this year of my life. Am I on a course to accomplish what I set out to do six months ago?" We break up years into months and weeks because it keeps us organized, allows for consistent scheduling, and makes counting days easier by reducing the magnitude of the numbers involved. Therefore, it is perfectly natural, even commendable, to use one (or more) of these conveniently organized days to stop and think about "the big picture". And what better day than the halfway point? It is easily remembered and recognized, and allows ample time for changes to be made to the status quo. In this sense, the half-birthday celebration is the polar opposite of the birthday celebration: on our birthdays, we relax and reflect back on the year that was, while looking optimistically forward to the year ahead, while on our half-birthdays, we take a harsh look in the mirror and ask critically of ourselves whether we are living up to our own standards and expectations.
We reach the same conclusions whether we investigate the half-birthday cosmologically or morally, that: (1) birthdays and half-birthdays are complete opposites; (2) a half-birthday celebration should in no way resemble a birthday celebration; and (3) a half-birthday is a time for personal, not social, celebration and reflection.
And seriously, are you gonna give someone half a present? Isn't that still a full present? It's like trying to break a crumb in half. It just doesn't work.
For me, today is a day of introspection, the results of which will only be known on the true day worthy of a celebration, six months from now. For you, today is the day your birthday presents turn from pathetically late to thoughtfully early, and nothing more.
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